Back in May, during the Minn Kota Bassmaster Elite at Lake Murray, I was presented with a Caregiver Award by the Winners Travel Foundation because they determined my wife and I have done such a good job caring for our two nonverbal autistic 10-year-old daughters, Avery and Ainsley.
I wanted to get that out of the way first, so you’d know what this column is about.
Now I want to explain how it happened and what I hope will come of it.
During the Day 1 weigh-in for the tournament, I was mulling around backstage as usual, shaking a few hands and generally minding my own business.
Then suddenly, I found myself on stage between Elite Series champions John Crews and Brandon Palaniuk with emcee Dave Mercer off to the side and an ocean of people staring squarely at me.
Crews and Palaniuk — not only two of the best anglers on the Elite Series, but two of the best men — have been working hard to raise money and awareness for autism. Recently, they’ve been working with the Winners Travel Foundation, which gives the Caregiver Awards to people who do good in the world, including those who give love and care to special needs children.
One of their mottos is “Travel Heals the Soul” — and I’m almost ashamed to say the award comes with a free trip anywhere in the continental United States. But while my wife and I certainly don’t take care of our twins in hopes of winning a vacation, there is so much truth to the organization’s motto.
As parents of special needs children, we do things like change diapers and clean up the associated messes about seven years after that should have been over. We put child locks on every door in our home and constantly listen for doors opening because our greatest fear is one of them getting out and never being seen again.
That’s parenting. That’s the job we signed up for when we decided to have children, and we’ve faced it head on. But even the hardest workers need to recharge their batteries once in a while — and with that being true, travel truly does heal the soul. More importantly, it makes you a better parent when you return.
I’ve never been more in need of a recharge than I am right now because, since February, I’ve had a bad case of COVID-19 and developed pneumonia, had surgery for a fractured bone in my neck and got a call one day at noon from a neighbor to say my house was on fire. All that falls under one simple word: “Life.” But it’s a lot of life to take in just eight weeks, especially with two special needs children depending on us.
So, that’s how it came to be that I received the Caregiver Award. Now, here’s what we hope the rest of the world will take from it.
Somewhere out there right now, parents are coming to the realization that their child has special needs and great hardships ahead. They’re brokenhearted and probably feeling a bit sorry for themselves. I know I sure did — probably more than most.
But as you watch the video of me accepting the Caregiver Award from the Winners Travel Foundation on Bassmaster.com — as you watch me stumble through a nervous acceptance speech, forgetting to even shake Palaniuk’s hand — understand your child needs you. Understand that you chose parenthood, the child didn’t choose you.
As I said on stage, we don’t consider what we do for our children a burden or even truly a responsibility. We consider it a privilege because we simply can’t imagine life without them.
Remember to ask yourself what life would be like without your child. Remember to cherish the little victories, whether it’s the hint of a word from a nonverbal child or just a few steps from a child with Down syndrome.
And please, remember that travel is indeed good for the soul — and it doesn’t have to be a three-day, four-night vacation. It can be a date night to a local movie theater where you check in with your babysitter five times in two hours.
Being there for your children will give them the quality of life they deserve.
Seeing you come back rested and recharged will enrich that life in ways you never imagined.